Do we love the unexpected, or are we just crazy for crazy?
Let’s also not forget the long, at one time televised, marriage of Ozzy Osbourne and his wife, Sharon. “I just can’t think of my life without him,” Sharon confessed on Good Morning, America, “even though he’s a dog.”
That might have been Sharon being funny, or Ozzy really is barking mad. You never know with the Prince of Darkness. Once you’ve bitten the head off a bat, running around on all fours seems predictable.
Eventually, she took her own life, but not before penning these final words to her husband: “I don’t think two people could have been happier.”
Virginia Woolf had a longstanding marriage, and quite a happy one by all accounts. Her husband, Leonard, helped her through years of manic mood swings. Eventually, she took her own life, but not before penning these final words to her husband: “I don’t think two people could have been happier.”Okay, ironic, sure, but she did leave on a high note.
And let’s not forget Ricky Gervais and Jane Fallon, together 38 years. As five-time host of the Golden Globe Awards, Gervais has a history of putting propriety aside, saying numerous times, “I don’t care.” Surprisingly, when it comes to marriage — he doesn’t care, either. He and Jane aren’t married because, according to him, an actual ceremony would only be in the eyes of God. “And there is no God,” he explained.
Well, to the 70 million Trumpsters, who are particularly fond of God, that’s just crazy talk. Then again, being Trumpsters, they’re used to crazy talk, so — God or not — Gervais gets a pass. He’s funny, and nutty, much like those Trumpster’s beloved ex-president. They may not give dogs their own voices, but God knows how many of those mutts are now called Donnie.
The point is, it seems craziness has a lot more longevity than, say, Simonizing one’s car.
If you’re laughing at the antics of someone else’s boyfriend — maybe you need more antics in your life.
As one woman on Reddit said, “I hear your stories about your boyfriends — nuts as they are — and I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.” That should tell you something right there. If you’re laughing at the antics of someone else’s boyfriend — maybe you need more antics in your life.
As another woman with a crazy boyfriend said, “I couldn’t go back to normal.”
Once bitten, in other words. I mean, who doesn’t want their dog to have a voice, or their turtle its own an Instagram account? Have you read Instagram lately? It’s not like a turtle is going to shock anybody. “Hi, I’m a turtle, and I don’t endorse Donald Trump.” You’re entitled to your opinion, turtle. Now, tell me, is that the way all you turtles think?
Don’t be surprised if you get an answer. There are a lot of nutty people in this world. Some with turtles, some Simonizing cars. You just have to decide, do you want a shiny car or vodka martini shooting out your nose?
You’d be surprised how many choose the latter.
Robert Cormack is a satirist, novelist, and former advertising copywriter. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. Check out Skyhorse Press or Simon and Schuster for more details.